


Stay

by Haunted_Obsidian



Category: Walking Dead (Comics), Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Confessions, Forgiveness, M/M, Rick loves Shane, Shane is an idiot, Slash, bad language, friendship that's really more, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 10:23:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haunted_Obsidian/pseuds/Haunted_Obsidian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for this prompt at lj_kinkmeme</p>
<p>Rick confesses that he loves Shane but Shane doesn't want to be seen as gay, and ends their friendship. But Shane loves Rick too, and he regrets his decision and the next day he confesses his love for Rick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

Shane stared at him, confusion set upon his visage. “What did you just say?” He sounded incredulous, like he hadn't quite heard what the other man had really said. Or maybe he'd just had one too many drinks. Yeah, that was it. Had to be.

Rick's eyes were watery, he could see that now, and they were gleaming in the moonlight. “I-I said that I love you, Shane. I...I'm _in_ love with you.” And suddenly, the wide smile that had been on Rick's face before transformed into one of worry. His right hand twitched nervously at his side. “I have been...for awhile now.” His voice was soft, so soft Shane almost couldn't hear it.

Shane laughed, looking off to the side before reaching a hand out to grab Rick's arm. “C'mon, man, I think you've had a little too much tonight. Best get you home 'fore you hurt yourself.”

Rick immediately jerked back out of Shane's reach, blue eyes gleaming sadly. “I'm not drunk, Shane. I'm not drunk,” he repeated, shaking his head as Shane reached for him again. “What I said is true. I...I love you.”

Shane continued to chuckle, and shook his head. “Yeah, I love you too, brother, now c'mon.” He knew this couldn't be right. There was no way in hell Rick was saying this to him. No damned way. Not after thirteen years of friendship. 

“Can you honestly tell me you don't feel the same way?” Rick asked, continuing to back away from Shane's grasp, tone laced with agony and disbelief. “Can you?” he repeated, voice finally breaking. 

Shane licked his lips and glanced away again, gaze falling on everything but Rick. “You're kinda puttin' me on the spot here, aren't ya?” he returned with a half-smile on his face, trying once again to make a joke out of the situation, even though he knew it was anything but.

Rick just shook his head and backed up a few more steps, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand. “This was stupid,” he murmured, eyes still glistening with unshed tears. 

Suddenly, anger flared through Shane's veins, and he felt his his body moving before he could stop it. “You're damn right it was stupid!” he spat, charging towards the other man. “We been friends for how long now, and you wanna pull this shit, Grimes?” As soon as he was within reach, he shoved Rick, and the smaller man stumbled at the force, but didn't fall. Shane continued to push him until he'd backed Rick up again the trunk of his car. “Now let me tell you what's gonna happen. I'm gonna drive your drunk ass home, and we're gonna forget this ever happened. You got me?”

A tear rolled down Rick's cheek, and he shook his head. “I can't. I can't pretend anymore, Shane!” he yelled, furiously swiping it away. “Everyday I wake up, and the first thing I think about it you, and when I go to sleep, you're always the last thing on my mind. I wanted to tell you before, but...”

“So what the fuck are you telling me now for? Huh? I ain't fuckin' gay, Rick! I like women. I _fuck_ women. I mean, shit, where the fuck do you get off throwin' this shit in my face for, huh?” Shane's voice was full of venom, and he could tell by the look in his partner's eyes that his words were causing him nothing but pain. 

Rick's voice was quiet when he spoke. “I-I got a job offer from the Atlanta PD a few days ago. They need their answer by the end of the week...”

Shane was growing angrier and angrier the longer Rick went on.

“...And I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't because the thought of leaving you behind tore me up inside. I-I'm sorry, Shane.”

The larger of the two men clenched his jaw, eyes narrowing. “Yeah, you should be fuckin' sorry,” he said, shoving Rick again, this time away from his car and towards the middle of the road. “Some fuckin' friend you are, Grimes,” he ground out, voice deep and livid. He stomped towards the driver's side of his car, and threw the door open. “You know what?” he asked, turning to face Rick. “You need to take that fuckin' job in Atlanta, because I don't ever wanna see your fuckin' faggot ass around here again.” He felt something cave in his chest as he got in the car and sped off, leaving Rick eight miles out of town, and alone in the middle of the night. 

The speedometer's needle lifted higher and higher the faster Shane drove, the engine of the '72 LTD rumbling as he hit 80mph. The gravel shifted and flew up under the tires, and it took a minute for Shane to realize just how fast he was actually going. He took a deep breath, and let up on the gas, but his heart was still racing, pounding like a bass drum in his chest. 

Confusion and anger were still running rampant through his veins, and all he wanted to do was hit something. Pound out all his frustration on a punching bag until he couldn't move any longer. 

His scarred knuckles were stark white against the black of the steering wheel, his grip so tight his hands were starting to cramp. He loosened it, and though it brought a bit of relief to his hands, the rest of him was still tightly wound. 

He couldn't help but replay the last twenty minutes of his life over and over again in his head, and wonder what the hell had just happened. 

His best friend—the man he trusted his life with again and again every day for the last thirteen years—had just told him that he'd loved him, was _in_ love with him, and he'd abandoned him like a piece of trash on the side of a gravel road. 

How the hell could Rick be in love with him? How?! 

Shane shook his head, and turned the radio up as loud as it could go. That way he wouldn't have to listen to the thoughts that were pouring through his head, reminding him over and over again that he was an asshole. An asshole that had told his best friend that he never wanted to see him again. 

Rick—the sweetest, kindest, most loyal man he knew; the man that he'd told himself over and over again was off limits because he wasn't wired that way—had told him that he loved him, and he'd gone and fucked shit up in his routine Shane-like way. 

Again.

He felt angry tears fill his eyes, and immediately blinked them away. How could he have been so stupid? 

Hell, he remembered the first time they met. Bumped into each other like a couple of dimwits first day of high school. He'd managed to hold onto his books, but Rick, Rick had dropped his all over the hallway, then bumbled like an idiot, apologizing over and over again until all Shane could do was laugh. They became instant friends, and hadn't spent a day a part since. 

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_ , Shane mentally scolded himself. 

He'd had feelings for Rick for a long time too. He was just too much of a fool to admit it. Rick had gone and jumped the gun and was man enough to tell him how he felt; and what did he do? Call him a fag, and drive off. 

“You stupid fuckin' idiot!” he shouted at himself. He slowed the car down, and made a u-turn so fast the tires squealed. “You're gonna make this right. You are gonna make this right, and it'll be okay,” he said, trying to reassure himself. But he knew better. He'd seen the look in Rick's eyes when he'd yelled at him, seen how hurt he was. He wouldn't be surprised if the other man never wanted to talk to him again. Hell, he probably wouldn't want to. Who was he kidding?

It wasn't long before he reached the spot he'd left Rick at, but the other man was no where to be seen. “Shit!” he yelled again, hitting the steering wheel with the heels of his hand. After a few minutes, he tried to calm himself down, but mumbling to himself that, “Someone prolly just came along and took 'em home,” didn't help as much as he'd hoped it would. 

He drove another mile or so down the road when he realized that he was probably right after all. Hell, it was a little town where everyone knew everyone and their mother. And it was a Friday night, more people would be out. 

Reluctantly, he started back towards town with a resolution in mind. Tomorrow, first thing, he would go over to Rick's and take care of the situation. 

And tell the other man that he, in fact, was in love with him too.

T*W*D

Shane felt like shit, but he found himself knocking on Rick's door just before eight o'clock the next morning. He'd managed to get about two hours of sleep in, the rest of the night just spent tossing and turning. 

It was another few minutes before the door cracked open, Rick peeking at him from the other side. His eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, and there were dark circles under his eyes as well. Shane could swear he watched Rick's heart break the moment their eyes actually met. 

“Can we talk?” Shane asked, glancing away at the siding on the house, at the grass that needed a cut, at anything besides the one thing he was supposed to be focused on. 

“About?” Rick asked, voice sounding so worn and broken he immediately had to clear his throat. It didn't help.

“Last night,” Shane answered, letting his gaze slowly creep back to Rick and the cheap blanket his grandmother had knitted the man years ago. It was draped across his white t-shirt clad shoulders. 

“What about it?” Rick inquired, and Shane could see that Rick was having trouble looking at him too. 

“Well, first off, I wanted to say that I'm sorry,” Shane stated, finally forcing himself to keep his gaze trained on Rick and nothing else. 

The other man nodded, but looked as though he didn't believe it. 

“And that I didn't mean any of the shit that I said,” he continued on, and Rick just sighed.

“We both know that's a lie, 'cause you always say what you mean, Shane. Look,” Rick said, running a hand through his hair while the other continued to hold up the blanket. “It's my own fault for opening my big mouth--”

Shane hurriedly cut him off. “Will you shut up, and just let me apologize?” he asked, and Rick's brow narrowed, but he kept quiet, allowing Shane to go on. “I'm sorry, Rick. For the first time in my life, I didn't mean what I said last night. Hell, I don't even know why I said it, to be honest with you. I guess...I guess I was just angry because I thought it wasn't possible.”

Rick quirked an eyebrow at the admission. “Thought _what_ wasn't possible?” 

“I didn't think it was possible for anyone—'specially you of all people—to...fall in love with me.” He paused, finding his eyes torn away from the other man once more. He scrubbed a hand over his freshly cut hair, and sighed. “Look, what I'm tryin' to say is,” he said, and bit his bottom lip. “What I'm tryin' to say is—fuck it,” he cut himself off and leaned forward, pressing his lips against Rick's. 

It was awkward at first, especially when Rick didn't even kiss him back, but after a moment, the other man's lips synched with his, and the kiss was finally mutual. Shane carefully cupped Rick's cheek and slipped his tongue in, an action that was reciprocated immediately by his partner. Feeling more confident, Shane stepped across the threshold, still kissing the other man until he'd backed Rick up against a wall. 

He could feel Rick's hands slowly slide across his shoulders and wrap behind the back of his neck, and Shane couldn't help but think how perfectly they fit together. He was glad Rick had said something now, and only wished he himself had said something sooner. At least he knew now that Rick had forgiven him, although there was still something that nagged at him enough that he broke the kiss off, and he couldn't help but let the smallest of smiles grace his wet lips when he heard the low whine Rick made. 

With their faces still inches apart, he spoke lowly, unsurely. “So...are you still thinkin' about Atlanta...or are you gonna stay?”

Rick stared at him for a moment, eyes bright and impossibly blue. Finally, he mumbled, “Like you really had to ask,” and leaned forward again, this time being the orchestrator of the kiss. Shane accepted that answer, and kissed him back. 

He figured he could get used to this. Especially once Rick started to pull him towards the bedroom. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.


End file.
